The PBS documentary, The Kids We Lose, explores how discipline techniques in schools feed the school-to-prison pipeline. It effectively argues for ending punitive practices in schools, but where are the viable and realistic solutions?
One strength of the film is showing how incredibly serious (and dangerous) these behaviors can be. However, it focuses on ADHD, Dyslexia, and Autism as the underlying causes. It’s important to note that the most significant underlying cause of these school behaviors is complex trauma – with nearly half of Americas children suffering at least one adverse experience hurting kids are in every classroom.
One of the highlights of the film is Dylan, an adult man now reflecting on his behaviors as a school aged child. His problems began in 6th grade when didn’t want to do what he was told to do. “I wanted to do things my way,” he says. When discussing his interactions with law enforcement in high school, Dylan says he was rebelling and acting out because he was unhappy. However, the experts on the film don’t address this type of willful behavior. In fact, they specifically say the kids have the motivation, but not the skills to succeed.
While it’s frowned up on in our society to say – some of our kids do have serious, willful behaviors. These children likely also have emotional issues, are disregulated, and may be hyperactive. They may lack the skills they need to succeed. They may also lack motivation and be willful in their behaviors. To find real solutions that work we have to start looking at children’s needs more holistically and realistically. When we deny a child’s control over their behaviors we steal their agency and cripple their chances of sucess in the future.
Teachers need to teach
The film does a great job of showing just how serious and dangerous kids’ behaviors can be. However, it seems to unfairly put the onus on teachers with a focus on the need for teacher training so they can mitigate and manage the behaviors. In my opinion, behavior management (at this level) is not a teacher responsibility. We need support staff that will allow teachers to teach.
Restrains aren’t therapeutic, but we need an alternative
The film effectively shows how shocking and disturbing physical restraints can be. It goes on to explain that restraints are not therapeutic or educational – and therefore have no place in schools. However, the film doesn’t offer an alternative solution. There are cases where a child is completely out of control and unsafe to themselves and others. If we are do do away with physical restrains we must have a realistic acute solution – while continuing to provide long term treatment.
Teachers and peers matter too
It’s often forgotten that these types of extreme behavioral problems create a toxic environment for teachers and peers who are entitled to a healthy environment. The producer argues, “Instead of kids being taught to behave in school they are removed from school.” While this is a valid point, we must consider the needs of everyone – the struggling child, other students, teachers, and support staff.
When my son Devon was in 5th grade he didn’t want to come inside after recess. All the other students were lined up at the door waiting as teachers called for Devon to come. He finally walked over with a large rock in his hand. He slammed the rock into a window and it shattered. Then Devon walked down the line of his peers punching them. When his teacher rushed over to stop him, he punched her in the stomach.
- Devon’s behavior clearly signaled mental health issues that needed treatment.
- Physically restraining Devon wasn’t therapeutic or educational, but absolutely necessary.
- Devon’s teacher had a right to work in a safe and healthy environment.
- Devon’s behavior was traumatic and disruptive to other students.
These are complicated situations and we will not solve them by painting with a broad brush or focusing on only one prong. To find real solutions for behaviorally challenging students we must be willing to honestly define the problem(s), view the child holistically, and balance their needs along with the needs of others.
The Kids We Lose is a thought provoking film worth your time to watch. After you view it please leave me a comment to let me know what you think.Let's connect!
I live in Charlotte, NC with my family and am working on a memoir about raising my adopted son, Devon.