How to discipline a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) – Part II
Behavior modification isn’t effective because kids with RAD often lack cause and effect thinking and are not sufficiently motivated by rewards. Here's what does work. […]
The Adoption and Fostering Podcast: Adoption Conversations – Keri
In this podcast episode Keri shares her experience of her son being diagnosed with RAD and about the lack of effective reactive attachment disorder treatment available for families like hers. […]
But, He Spit in my Coffee: A reads-like-fiction memoir about adopting a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)
But He Spit in my Coffee is an award winning memoir about one family's adoption journey as they struggled to find treatment for their son's complex needs including Reactive Attachment Disorder. […]
What is Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?
Learn about Reactive Attachment Disorder causes, symptoms, and treatments. Also the Reactive Attachment Disorder DSM 5 diagnostic criteria. […]
What are the most common Reactive Attachment Disorder symptoms?
Reactive Attachment Disorder symptoms, survey results […]
Parents in crisis can’t parent therapeutically – so stop expecting us to.
Adoptive and foster parents usually reach a crisis point before we get help. No doubt, our children need us to be that calm and steady, therapeutic parent, but at that point, we simply don't have the capacity to do it. […]
Where to find support groups for parents of kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder
Are you parenting a child from hard places? First, know you are not alone. There are thousands of us going through the same things. It's just sometimes difficult to find each other and connect for support. […]
Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD): The Essential Guide for Parents
If you are struggling to parent a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), this is the resource you need. No platitudes or false hopes here, only practical suggestions that actually work! Understand developmental trauma and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) Learn tips and tricks to help you to navigate "the system" Get […]
What it’s like being the sibling of a child with RAD
“It’s like living in a prison. We can’t go anywhere. All doors are locked. Alarms everywhere. We can’t have friends over. Stuff goes missing. We’ve all had black eyes, split lips and bite marks…we’re the ones who suffer.” – Grace, 14, on living with a sibling with reactive attachment disorder. Grace’s […]
What is Developmental Trauma
To better serve children with developmental trauma, Kolk has proposed adding a new diagnosis to the DSM called Developmental Trauma Disorder (DTD). The new diagnostic criteria requires exposure to chronic trauma before the age of 5. This diagnosis would fully encompass the symptoms of developmental trauma bringing them under one umbrella. […]
Parents of kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder: 10 Unfortunate truths you must know
Let’s strip away the platitudes and talk about surviving. Here’s my unfiltered, pragmatic RAD-parent-to-RAD-parent advice. […]
How to Discipline a Child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) – Part I
It’s the million-dollar question. How do we manage the behavior of children with RAD? Therapeutic approaches can seem scarily permissive. Meanwhile, traditional parenting approaches backfire spectacularly. At the root, most behaviors children with RAD engage in are intended for self-preservation – by sabotaging relationships and controlling their environments. It’s unlikely, however, […]
The Secret Next Door (Child on Parent Violence)
Child-on-parent violence is at epidemic levels in some families. However, it's a taboo topic in our society and there's little help available for parents or children. […]
Developmental trauma shouldn’t be a life sentence for any child or family
Originally published by Scary Mommy as Developmental Trauma Absolutely Destroyed My Family My husband and I jumped in heart first when we adopted out of foster care. Devon was three with big brown eyes and a shy smile. His two-year-old half-sister, Kayla, was spunky with freckles and gobs of curls. We […]
Understanding the long-term impact of early childhood trauma
Due to trauma during her early development, the lens Kayla viewed the world through was warped. It made even loving caregivers seem unsafe. Situations and people all appeared unpredictable. Kayla likely had no conscious awareness of this and she certainly could not verbalize it. […]
Raising a Child with Developmental Trauma
Raising a child with developmental trauma can be incredibly difficult and isolating. The more you understand your child’s trauma history, and learn about the science of trauma and therapeutic parenting, the better equipped you will be to help your child heal. […]
95% of adoptive parents jump in heart-first, but unprepared
Our recent Facebook poll showed up to 95% of adoptive parents are not sufficiently trained on developmental trauma and the related diagnoses including Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Survey by @RaisingDevon March 2019 While adoptive parents don't understand the scope and magnitude of developmental trauma, they do do expect children coming out […]
2/3 of kids with RAD are first misdiagnosed with ADHD
Our recent Facebook poll showed that 67% of children first misdiagnosed with RAD (and other developmental trauma diagnoses) were first diagnosed with ADHD. […]
A to Z of Therapeutic Parenting
The a-z Of Therapeutic Parenting has real strategies and solutions for kids with developmental trauma. Enough said. Seriously, for most adoptive parents I could end my review here. That's how incredibly rare it is to find practical strategies that make sense. […]
5 lessons I wish I’d known when I first adopted a child with developmental trauma
My husband and I adopted Devon out of foster care when he was 3. Devon has complex developmental trauma disorder (DTD, commonly diagnosed as reactive attachment disorder). This often occurs when a child experiences chronic abuse or neglect early on and results in disrupted brain development. Adoptive parents like myself aren’t given a […]
What to do when child protective services investigates…
An interview with Diane L. Redleaf, a family defense pioneer Nationally-known leaders have called Diane L. Redleaf the “conscience of the child welfare system,” the driving force behind creating a “better, fairer child welfare system” and “the people’s lawyer.” Diane has played a leading role in hundreds of important cases on behalf […]
What to consider before you adopt…
Two-year-old Kayla was shy with dimples that winked when she laughed. Her brother, three-year-old Devon, had curly brown hair, freckles and a quick smile. We’d long dreamed of adopting foster kids and my husband and I jumped in heart-first. During the mandatory three-month pre-adoption waiting period, Devon and Kayla had some […]
What teachers of children experiencing the effects of early trauma need to know
If you are a classroom teacher you almost certainly have students who have experienced childhood trauma. A recent national survey on children’s health found that 47% of all children in the United States have had at least one adverse childhood experience (footnote below). For some, the unfortunate result is reactive attachment […]
Parenting a challenging child? Here’s how to increase your resilience
Do you ever roll out of bed already over it? At your limit before the day starts? Knowing you can’t take even one more surly look, one more rude comment, one more call from school, one more violent outburst? I’ve been there too. As parents of children with reactive attachment disorder […]
The Boy Who Cried Abuse: When kids are abused in residential treatment facilities
Devon was a boy who cried wolf. On several occasions, he claimed workers had purposely hurt him. When he mumbled about Mr. Myron beating him up. My stomach churned not knowing what was true, what was exaggeration, and what was an outright lie. It was hard to imagine a worker beating Devon, […]
Dear friends & family
Dear Friend, I’ve told you before how I’m struggling with my child’s behavior but I’m not sure you understand how serious—how desperate—things are. Here’s the unvarnished truth—my child relies on manipulation and melt-downs to control his surroundings. He refuses to follow the simplest of instructions and turns everything into a tug-of-war […]
How parents of kids with RAD get PTSD
"It’s unreasonable to force a parent to bond with a child whose behaviors have led to his or her PTSD,” said Institute for Attachment and Child Development Executive Director Forrest Lien. “The whole family needs healing in order to foster parent-child attachments." Published by the Institute for Attachment and Child Development. […]
Understanding Anger: Trauma and the Incredible Hulk
Effectively parenting children with a history of trauma requires a paradigm shift. This short video by psychologist Jacob Ham is incredibly effective in helping us understand why consequences don't work for kids with reactive attachment disorder and how we can help them deescalate. https://youtu.be/o0FtfB4Co0k […]
Open letter to a therapist from a mom of a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder
Dear Therapist, I am desperate for your help. I apologize ahead of time if I seem angry and defensive. I’m just burnt out and afraid you won’t understand. My son is completely out of control and nothing works. I’ve tried to get help before from therapists and teachers, even police officers, but […]
When a mom struggles to love and attach to her child with Reactive Attachment Disorder
Originally published by the Institute for Child Development. Carol was bitter and angry—on edge. Shortly after we met through a mutual friend, she told me about her three adopted sons. She adored her youngest son. The older two were regularly suspended from elementary school, lied incessantly, and threw screaming fits daily. […]