Parenting Advice

How to discipline a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) – Part II

Behavior modification isn’t effective because kids with RAD often lack cause and effect thinking and are not sufficiently motivated by rewards. Here's what does work. […]

YouTube: Do kids with RAD misbehave on purpose?

Do kids with RAD misbehave on purpose? https://youtu.be/zloou4K9NfM Great to share with family and friends who don't "get it" and are second guessing your parenting! For neglected and abused children who are diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), insecurity, fear, and hurt are stamped on the very core of their being—even […]

RAD… or just “normal” teenager stuff?

Parenting a teenager is hard. And…parenting a teenager who has RAD is even harder. Here’s the thing—sometimes we blame RAD when our teen is actually acting on par with their peers. For example, you might be frustrated with your RAD teen’s chronically messy bedroom and unmade bed, and blame RAD. You […]

Reimagining Success as a RAD Parent #NAVRAD22

Keri Williams, author and award winning talks about how we can redefine success as parents of kids with Reactive Attachment DIsorder (RAD) and find a way forward. #NAVRAD22 […]

Glass Children: The Impact of RAD on Siblings #NAVRAD22

Monica Badgley, of RADSibs, and a panel of young people talk about the impact of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) on siblings and give their advice to parents @ #NAVRAD22 […]

Determining What You Have Left as a Family and Ideas to Move Forward #NAVRAD22

Carrie O'Toole, board-certified Christian life coach, shares practical ideas for families caring for a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder(RAD) at #NAVRAD22 […]

Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) visualization: Restoring empathy

Here's a meditation from Chel Hamilton created especially for RAD moms to help us recenter and return to that place where we can view our child's challenging behaviors through the lens of their trauma. Chel walks us through a powerful visualization exercise to restore our empathy, a feeling that is so […]

Tips to survive parenting a child with RAD as an introvert

Introverted parents of kids with RAD bring many strengths and needs to the table. Here are tips on how to use your strengths and how to prioritize your needs. […]

When suicidal ideations may not be serious

I opened the closet door to find my son Devon squatting in the shadowy darkness with a belt looped loosely around his neck. He was 9. Confident that he wasn’t actually trying to hurt himself, and was only trying to get attention, I hid my fear. I knew if I showed […]

What it’s like being the sibling of a child with RAD

“It’s like living in a prison. We can’t go anywhere. All doors are locked. Alarms everywhere. We can’t have friends over. Stuff goes missing. We’ve all had black eyes, split lips and bite marks…we’re the ones who suffer.” – Grace, 14, on living with a sibling with reactive attachment disorder. Grace’s […]

Parents of kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder: 10 Unfortunate truths you must know

Let’s strip away the platitudes and talk about surviving. Here’s my unfiltered, pragmatic RAD-parent-to-RAD-parent advice. […]

How to Discipline a Child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) – Part I

It’s the million-dollar question. How do we manage the behavior of children with RAD? Therapeutic approaches can seem scarily permissive. Meanwhile, traditional parenting approaches backfire spectacularly. At the root, most behaviors children with RAD engage in are intended for self-preservation – by sabotaging relationships and controlling their environments. It’s unlikely, however, […]

A Dad’s Struggle Accepting Reactive Attachment Disorder Diagnosis

Learn about a Dad's struggle with awareness and acceptance of a Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) diagnosis and helpful tips to overcome the challenge of accepting related Developmental Trauma Disorders. […]

5 creative ways to foster attachment

Kids with attachment difficulties need opportunities to encourage them to form bonds with their caregivers. Here are 5 creative attachment ideas. […]

Adoption: How not to be like a frog boiling in a pot

. It's really important to understand that, for kids with severe trauma, love alone is not enough. For the best prognosis, early intervention is key. This is why every adoptive (and pre-adoptive) parent must know the warning signs and where to find help. […]

You’re angry…I totally get it

As a fellow parent of a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), I understand your anger. However, here's what I've learned: While anger is a natural response, it doesn't serve you or your child well. And here's why… […]

10 Survival Strategies for Summer

As school winds down, many families look forward to beach vacations, summer camps and lazy days. They break out the backyard sprinkler, sunblock and barbecue grill. But parents of children with developmental trauma disorder (DTD), like myself, often dread the long summer days which are anything but relaxing and enjoyable. Our […]

A to Z of Therapeutic Parenting

The a-z Of Therapeutic Parenting has real strategies and solutions for kids with developmental trauma. Enough said. Seriously, for most adoptive parents I could end my review here. That's how incredibly rare it is to find practical strategies that make sense. […]

5 lessons I wish I’d known when I first adopted a child with developmental trauma

My husband and I adopted Devon out of foster care when he was 3. Devon has complex developmental trauma disorder (DTD, commonly diagnosed as reactive attachment disorder). This often occurs when a child experiences chronic abuse or neglect early on and results in disrupted brain development. Adoptive parents like myself aren’t given a […]

5 things I learned at ATTACh 2018

Recently, I had the privilege of attending the ATTACh 2018 conference. I learned from keynote speakers including leading researcher and author of The Body Keeps The Score, Dr Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. and attended a variety of workshops and parent sessions. Here are 5 things I learned and want to […]

When you feel like you’re on the verge of a nervous breakdown…

Unless you've lived through a child's relentless screaming, violent outbursts, physical aggression, and extreme manipulation – hour-after-hour, day-after-day – it may be hard to fathom the long term impact on caregivers. But, the truth is, it can feel like you’re on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Does that seem a […]

Parenting a challenging child? Here’s how to increase your resilience

Do you ever roll out of bed already over it? At your limit before the day starts? Knowing you can’t take even one more surly look, one more rude comment, one more call from school, one more violent outburst? I’ve been there too. As parents of children with reactive attachment disorder […]

You need a safety plan

If you're raising a child with RAD you almost certainly need a safety plan. Our children's dangerous behaviors can include suicidal ideation, self- harming, violent outbursts, serious property damage, and physical aggression towards others (especially siblings). This is shared from a blog post by Renae and Jason who are grappling with […]

Father’s Day for dads of children with RAD

Guest post by Terrie, RAD mom Today I remember all the dads – adoptive, foster, step and birth – for whom Father’s Day is literally not a special day at all because they love a child with reactive attachment disorder. These children see their parents as an extreme threat because they […]

6 Steps to protect yourself from false allegations

Published by Institute for Attachment & Child Development A sweet little kindergartener, with a Blues Clues backpack and big brown eyes, Devon went to school every morning with a hungry belly. At least that’s what he told the bus driver, his teacher, and the cafeteria ladies. When I got the call […]

3 Reasons Traditional Parenting Doesn’t Work With Kids From Trauma.

For years I pulled out my hair not understanding why my parenting strategy was working with my birth and other adopted children, but not with my son, Devon. NOTHING worked. Learning that traditional parenting methods don't work with kids who have a trauma background was a milestone for us, something I […]

Why I use the word “rage” and not “tantrum” for my child with developmental trauma

What kind of parent calls the police when her kid has a tantrum? Or, even worse, tries to check him into a mental health hospital? Me. Every time the cops arrived or we got to the hospital, my young son Devon transformed into an angel. I’d explain that he’d been throwing […]

Raising Devon