USAToday: Broken Adoptions
For tens of thousands of children in the U.S., their ‘forever family’ doesn’t last long. USA TODAY investigates: Why do adoptions fail? USAToday May 19, 2022 In a first of its kind investigation USAToday investigates how many adoptions are disrupted and why. Usually the focus of these conversations is on lack of […]
Parents in crisis can’t parent therapeutically – so stop expecting us to.
Adoptive and foster parents usually reach a crisis point before we get help. No doubt, our children need us to be that calm and steady, therapeutic parent, but at that point, we simply don't have the capacity to do it. […]
Joker: A warning we should heed
Joker reflects a reality we are already seeing in our society today. Early childhood trauma is at epidemic levels. Our mental health system is in disarray. We aren't meeting the needs of the vulnerable around us and sometimes violence and tragedy are the price we pay as a society. […]
Yoga at school may help your child, but what about mine?
Schools are beginning to incorporate yoga into their curriculum and disciplinary programs – but does that really work for kids with developmental trauma? […]
Here’s what “trauma informed” looks like…
Due to startling research on the impacts of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) on children, there is emphasis on "trauma informed care" in many sectors – education, childcare, health care, justice, and more. Far too often, however, trauma informed care is little more than a buzzword. In fact, many community resources exacerbate […]
Video: Early Childhood Trauma – we need treatments now!
Learn more Aging out of RTF and into the real world: A dangerous proposition Raising a child with Developmental Trauma Immigration isn't the only "system" that's harmful to children Why adoption stories aren't fairy tales It takes a village […]
How Racism, Trauma And Mental Health Are Linked
Research shows African-Americans are less likely to access treatment for mental illness. […]
Documentary exploring the school-to-prison pipeline
The Kids we Lose is a PBS documentary that explores how ineffective discipline techniques in schools feed the school-to-prison pipeline. It does a great job of showing the severity of the problem, but where are the solutions. […]
Aging out of RTF into the real world – a dangerous proposition
For the safety of our kids, who will someday age-out of residential treatment and into the real world – we must find a balance. They’ve got to have effective treatment AND understand that choices have consequences. […]
Immigration isn’t the only “system” that’s harmful to children
Regardless of our politics, we can advocate together on behalf of innocent children. Let’s consider that the immigration system isn’t the only “system” that’s harmful to children. […]
RTF: A bad option, that’s sometimes the best option
My son Devon was 10-years-old when I dropped him off at a residential treatment facility (RTF) for the first time. I knew almost instantly it wasn’t going to work. They didn’t believe in consequences. School work was optional. With unlimited dessert and no rules, it was more like a summer camp […]
What I Wish People Knew About These Popular Social Media Quotes…
As I like to tell my son, a sneeze is involuntary – stabbing someone with a pencil is not. For families like mine, these popular posts don’t ring true. […]
95% of adoptive parents jump in heart-first, but unprepared
Our recent Facebook poll showed up to 95% of adoptive parents are not sufficiently trained on developmental trauma and the related diagnoses including Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Survey by @RaisingDevon March 2019 While adoptive parents don't understand the scope and magnitude of developmental trauma, they do do expect children coming out […]
For a determined would-be school shooter, there’s always a way – until we address the underlying causes
Only a few days ago, I had the opportunity to plant a gun in a school. The doors were unlocked. There was no security guard. No office staff was signing visitors in. No one was monitoring the surveillance cameras. It was Saturday morning, and I was attending my son's recreational basketball […]
Thank you for understanding developmental trauma disorder when no one else did
One of the challenges of raising a child with developmental trauma disorder is how many professionals do not truly understand the disorder. However, I know one social worker who “gets it”—and had the fortune to work with her. Natasha was the first professional who understood my family was in crisis. She […]
School Shooters: What’s Their Path To Violence?
February 10, 20197:58 AM ETHeard on All Things Considered Many, though not all, of the perpetrators have experienced childhood traumas such as physical or emotional abuse, and unstable families, with violent, absent or alcoholic parents or siblings, for example. And most have experienced significant losses.For example, the defendant in the case of the Parkland, Fla., […]
It takes a village
My son Devon has a long track-record of making false allegations against staff at treatment facilities where he’s a patient. “I’m afraid Devon might make up a story about me too,” I recently told his therapist Cathy. “If CPS got involved, I could lose my other kids during the investigation…” In my mind […]
When Insurers Deny Mental Health Coverage, Families In Crisis Struggle Even More
By Christine Herman When Matthew Timion needed to get his son treatment for mental illness, he did not anticipate it would be so hard to get the insurance company to pay for it. Timion adopted his son out of foster care when he was 3. He says the trauma and neglect […]
What we might learn from another tragic story of mental health help given too late, too little
Caleb, 11, was thin with blond hair, glasses, and a big smile where crooked teeth jockeyed for space. He and his brother, Elijah, were adopted by Martin and Dena Lishing when Elijah was a toddler and Caleb was a baby. Their young birth mother struggled from addiction. Born a preemie at […]
The making of a murderer?
Our Failed Solutions for Seriously Ill Foster Youths (published by The Chronicle of Social Change) Justin Taylor Bean, removed from his abusive birth parents as a toddler, spent the next two decades in psychiatric hospitals and more than 40 residential facilities. Over the years, his physical and verbal aggression increased despite […]
When pigs fly: the day my son’s therapist apologized…
Today my son’s therapist apologized to me. (Go ahead, take a moment to pick yourself up off the floor, then keep reading…) If you’re the parent of a child diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder (RAD) you know just how significant this is. As parents of children with developmental trauma, one of our […]
Out Of Options, Parents Of Children With Mental Illness Trade Custody For Treatment
Illinois Newsroom-Jul 31, 2018 When Toni and Jim Hoy adopted their son Daniel as a toddler, they did not plan to give him back to the state of Illinois 10 years later. “Danny was this cute, lovable little blonde-haired, blue-eyed baby,” Jim said. There were times Daniel would reach over, put […]
The Boy Who Cried Abuse: When kids are abused in residential treatment facilities
Devon was a boy who cried wolf. On several occasions, he claimed workers had purposely hurt him. When he mumbled about Mr. Myron beating him up. My stomach churned not knowing what was true, what was exaggeration, and what was an outright lie. It was hard to imagine a worker beating Devon, […]
I’ve tried the system. It doesn’t work.
The media is calling the Parkland massacre “preventable” and pointing to missed warning signs. But, I’ve heeded the warning signs. All these mental health services, like water and sunshine, have unwittingly nurtured Devon’s proclivity for violence. He’s only gotten bigger, stronger, smarter, and more dangerous. I fear he could be the […]
Don’t blame workers for psych center woes
Here in Charlotte, NC we've recently had a lot of news about Strategic Behavioral Center, a Psychiatric Residential Treatment Facility (PRTF). You can read the full story from the Charlotte Observer here describing a disturbing riot on January 1st. Here's an excerpt: Patients at Strategic Behavioral Center — some wielding wooden boards […]