Tired mom holding child after a hard day of caregiving – symbolic of caregiver burnout and special needs parenting.

Missing the Mark: When “Caring for the Caregiver” Doesn’t Mean Parents

Trauma trainings often acknowledge secondary trauma—for professionals. But what about the people living it 24/7?

I recently attended a trauma training and was really looking forward to the session on caring for the caregiver. I assumed it would address the emotional toll caregiving takes on parents—especially those parenting children with Reactive Attachment Disorder. But it turned out to be about self-care for the professionals who work with our kids. #truestory

But What About the Parents?

Here’s the problem. The training fully recognized that therapists and other providers can experience secondary trauma—from spending maybe an hour or two a week with our kids. And they’re right. Working with kids from hard places is hard. But somehow, they were completely blind to the trauma parents face from being in it 24/7. And unlike professionals, we’re not observing from a distance. We’re in it emotionally. We’re in it constantly.

We’re the ones holding the fallout after therapy ends. We manage the rage, the grief, the fear. We absorb the trauma and keep going—because we don’t have the option to step away between sessions. This is adoptive parent burnout, and it’s real.

Imagine if parents—the actual caregivers—got even a fraction of the care and concern professionals give themselves for experiencing just a fraction of what we do. What a difference that would make.

🧡 Feel seen? Share it.

If this resonates with you—or if you know someone parenting a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder—share the quote below. It’s one simple way to remind the world that parents matter too.