Blog
The Secret Next Door (Child on Parent Violence)
Child-on-parent violence is at epidemic levels in some families. However, it’s a taboo topic in our society and there’s little help available for parents or…
Parents in crisis can’t parent therapeutically – so stop expecting us to.
Adoptive and foster parents usually reach a crisis point before we get help. No doubt, our children need us to be that calm and steady,…
The ugly truth about trauma
Understanding the devastating impact of early childhood trauma requires a paradigm shift. It’s invisible to the untrained eye so we tend to minimize its severity,…
Christmas Gift List for kids in Residential Treatment Facilities (RTFs)
It can be challenging to Christmas shop for kids who are living in residential treatment facilities (PRTFs, RTFs, or group
The Struggle For Love – How it All Began
Learn how ambition for adoption and loving a child blinded me to the challenges of loving and raising trauma affected children.
A Dad’s Struggle Accepting Reactive Attachment Disorder Diagnosis
Learn about a Dad’s struggle with awareness and acceptance of a Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) diagnosis and helpful tips to overcome the challenge of accepting…
Joker: A warning we should heed
Joker reflects a reality we are already seeing in our society today. Early childhood trauma is at epidemic levels. Our mental health system is in…
Conduct Disorder (CD) – Early detection
First published by Milk & Hugs, and republished with permission. The Worry… Early childhood is a wondrous time of life,
What is Conduct Disorder?
I stand in the bathroom stall of the courthouse, texting a friend. “I can’t do this,” I write and lean
Yoga at school may help your child, but what about mine?
Schools are beginning to incorporate yoga into their curriculum and disciplinary programs – but does that really work for kids with developmental trauma?
Weekly Roundup, Sunday Sep 15, 2019
Here’s a round up of links, memes, and articles I posted on social media this past week. Enjoy!
Here’s what “trauma informed” looks like…
Due to startling research on the impacts of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) on children, there is emphasis on “trauma informed
Weekly Roundup, Sunday Sep 8, 2019
Here’s a round up of links, memes, and articles I posted on social media this past week. Enjoy!
How to SURVIVE in an active shooter situation
I recently attended Active Survivor Training (also called Active Shooter training) with my children. What we learned was invaluable and,
Online support groups for parents of kids with trauma
Are you parenting a child from hard places? First, know you are not alone. There are thousands of us going through the same things. It’s…
Weekly Roundup, Sunday Sep 1, 2019
Here’s a round up of links, memes, and articles I posted on social media this past week. Enjoy!
5 creative ways to foster attachment
Kids with attachment difficulties need opportunities to encourage them to form bonds with their caregivers. Here are 5 creative attachment ideas.
Weekly Roundup, Sunday Aug 25, 2019
Here’s a round up of links, memes, and articles I posted on social media this past week. Enjoy!
The Special Needs of Adopted Children
Here’s a list of twenty things adoptive families need from Sherrie Eldridge including Bible verses.
Weekly Roundup, Sunday Aug 18, 2019
Here’s a round up of links, memes, and articles I posted on social media this past week. Enjoy!
Tips to work with your child’s school (includes free teacher handout)
I can’t tell you how many days I’ve navigated through carline with a drink holder full of steaming hot cups
Video: Early Childhood Trauma – we need treatments now!
Learn more Aging out of RTF and into the real world: A dangerous proposition Raising a child with Developmental Trauma
Book Review: Becoming Superman
J Michael Straczynski’s (JMS) new memoir, Becoming Superman: My journey from poverty to Hollywood, is compelling, heartbreaking, and inspirational. It
Adoption: How not to be like a frog boiling in a pot
. It’s really important to understand that, for kids with severe trauma, love alone is not enough. For the best prognosis, early intervention is key.…
You’re angry…I totally get it
As a fellow parent of a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), I understand your anger. However, here’s what I’ve learned: While anger is a…
Journey to the Son: One mother’s heart wrenching journey
Journey to the Son is an emotionally riveting memoir about a woman’s eight-year battle with the system for the child of her heart, who suffers…
NEW video teaches kids about trauma and the brain
I am so excited to share this exciting new resource with you! The Brain Game is a new psycho-educational, 20-minute
1 in 5 kids who’ve spent time in foster care are LGBTQ: Valuable resources for parents
Coming out as LGBTQ can be particularly scary for kids who are in foster care or adopted. Here are the resources you need…
Book Review | Me, The Boy, and the Monster
By Hannah Meadows It’s hard to overstate how much I love this book. I had the joy of proofreading it
How Racism, Trauma And Mental Health Are Linked
Research shows African-Americans are less likely to access treatment for mental illness.
Developmental Trauma and Psychosis
Though not symptoms of their developmental trauma, some children report hearing voices, seeing “beings,” or seem delusional. Here are the potential causes and what parents…
How to Start a Local Support Group
Looking to start a support group for parents of kids with developmental trauma and/or reactive attachment disorder (RAD)? Here’s some tips to help you get…
Developmental trauma shouldn’t be a life sentence for any child or family
Originally published by Scary Mommy as Developmental Trauma Absolutely Destroyed My Family My husband and I jumped in heart first
Love Never Quits – Surviving & Thriving After Infertility, Adoption, and RAD
When Gina Heumann and her husband Aaron picked up their beautifulbaby boy from his Guatemalan foster mom, the warning signs
10 Survival Strategies for Summer
As school winds down, many families look forward to beach vacations, summer camps and lazy days. They break out the
An Introduction to Developmental Trauma
To better serve children with developmental trauma, Kolk has proposed adding a new diagnosis to the DSM called Developmental Trauma Disorder (DTD). The new diagnostic…
Parents of kids with RAD: 10 Unfortunate truths you must know
Let’s strip away the platitudes and talk about surviving. Here’s my unfiltered, pragmatic RAD-parent-to-RAD-parent advice.
What is Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?
Kids with RAD have an indefatigable need to control the people and situations around them because they only feel safe when they prove to themselves…
Understanding the long-term impact of early childhood trauma
Due to trauma during her early development, the lens Kayla viewed the world through was warped. It made even loving caregivers seem unsafe. Situations and…
Raising a Child with Developmental Trauma
Raising a child with developmental trauma can be incredibly difficult and isolating. The more you understand your child’s trauma history, and learn about the science…
Navigating Reactive Attachment Disorder – And Succeeding!
Gina and her husband adopted Maddox only to discover he suffered developmental trauma and was diagnosed with RAD. Through years of therapy and specialized schools…
Surviving and thriving with RAD: In his own words
Jessie Hogsett was diagnosed with RAD at the age of 12 and grew up acting out of the hurt and trauma of his early childhood.…
Book Review: The Boy Who Built a Wall Around Himself
If your child has attachment issues, The Boy who Build a Wall Around Himself is the perfect book to cuddle up
Documentary exploring the school-to-prison pipeline
The Kids we Lose is a PBS documentary that explores how ineffective discipline techniques in schools feed the school-to-prison pipeline. It does a great job…
Aging out of RTF into the real world – a dangerous proposition
For the safety of our kids, who will someday age-out of residential treatment and into the real world – we must find a balance. They’ve…
Immigration isn’t the only “system” that’s harmful to children
Regardless of our politics, we can advocate together on behalf of innocent children. Let’s consider that the immigration system isn’t the only “system” that’s harmful…
RAD Symptoms – which are most common?
Parents of kids diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) are all too familiar with the symptoms. Anecdotally we often list food hoarding, violent outbursts, crazy…
RTF: A bad option, that’s sometimes the best option
My son Devon was 10-years-old when I dropped him off at a residential treatment facility (RTF) for the first time.
A Dangerous Son
This HBO documentary explores the struggle of three moms who are trying to find mental health services for their aggressive
Why adoption stories aren’t fairy tales
Adoption finalization is a reason to celebrate. Parents have filled out mountains of paperwork, waited months or years and shed
California Looks To Lead Nation In Unraveling Childhood Trauma
Imagine identifying a toxin so potent it could rewire a child’s brain and erode his immune system. A substance that, in high doses, tripled the…
What I Wish People Knew About These Popular Social Media Quotes…
These types of sentiments garner thousands of likes, shares, and re-tweets. But for families like mine, they simply don’t ring true.
95% of adoptive parents jump in heart-first, but unprepared
Our recent Facebook poll showed up to 95% of adoptive parents are not sufficiently trained on developmental trauma and the
For a determined would-be school shooter, there’s always a way – until we address the underlying causes
Only a few days ago, I had the opportunity to plant a gun in a school. The doors were unlocked.
2/3 of kids with RAD are first misdiagnosed with ADHD
Our recent Facebook poll showed that 67% of children first misdiagnosed with RAD (and other developmental trauma diagnoses) were first diagnosed with ADHD.
Thank you for understanding developmental trauma disorder when no one else did
One of the challenges of raising a child with developmental trauma disorder is how many professionals do not truly understand
A to Z of Therapeutic Parenting
The a-z Of Therapeutic Parenting has real strategies and solutions for kids with developmental trauma. Enough said. Seriously, for most adoptive parents I could end…
The Body Keeps the Score
This book will provide an interesting and enlightening background on the science of trauma. It’s not a how-to, although Dr. Kolk does offer some insight…
What happens when your child becomes violent … with you
Under my desk is an antique iron. It has been there since the day my mother hid it from my
School Shooters: What’s Their Path To Violence?
February 10, 20197:58 AM ETHeard on All Things Considered Many, though not all, of the perpetrators have experienced childhood traumas such
Childhood Trauma Leads to Brains Wired for Fear
This story was produced by Side Effects Public Media, a news collaborative covering public health. Negative childhood experiences can set our brains
It takes a village
My son Devon has a long track-record of making false allegations against staff at treatment facilities where he’s a patient. “I’m afraid
RAD and Developmental Trauma in Fiction
These popular novels are twisty, psychological thrillers with surprise endings. They each feature a child with developmental trauma and/or RAD.
When Insurers Deny Mental Health Coverage, Families In Crisis Struggle Even More
By Christine Herman When Matthew Timion needed to get his son treatment for mental illness, he did not anticipate it
Resources shared at the 2019 REFRESH conference!
Don’t miss out! pdf resources shared at the 2019 REFRESH conference! Includes a handout for teachers.
5 lessons I wish I’d known when I first adopted a child with developmental trauma
My husband and I adopted Devon out of foster care when he was 3. Devon has complex developmental trauma disorder
What we might learn from another tragic story of mental health help given too late, too little
Caleb, 11, was thin with blond hair, glasses, and a big smile where crooked teeth jockeyed for space. He and
Top 10 posts for 2018
In case you missed it…these are my top 10 posts for 2018: How to discipline a child with RAD What
The making of a murderer?
Our Failed Solutions for Seriously Ill Foster Youths (published by The Chronicle of Social Change) Justin Taylor Bean, removed from
When pigs fly: the day my son’s therapist apologized…
Today my son’s therapist apologized to me. (Go ahead, take a moment to pick yourself up off the floor, then
5 things I learned at ATTACh 2018
Recently, I had the privilege of attending the ATTACh 2018 conference. I learned from keynote speakers including leading researcher and
RAD, DTD – What’s all the controversy about?
Tweets. Facebook messages. Verbal knockouts. One too many times, I’ve been told reactive attachment disorder (RAD)—the result of a child’s
What to do when CPS comes knocking…
An interview with Diane L. Redleaf, a family defense pioneer Nationally-known leaders have called Diane L. Redleaf the “conscience of
Before you adopt…
Two-year-old Kayla was shy with dimples that winked when she laughed. Her brother, three-year-old Devon, had curly brown hair, freckles
For teachers of children experiencing the effects of early trauma
If you are a classroom teacher you almost certainly have students who have experienced childhood trauma. A recent national survey
When you feel like you’re on the verge of a nervous breakdown…
Unless you’ve lived through a child’s relentless screaming, violent outbursts, physical aggression, and extreme manipulation – hour-after-hour, day-after-day – it
When suicidal ideations may not be serious
I opened the closet door to find my son Devon squatting in the shadowy darkness with a belt looped loosely
How to love a child who doesn’t love you back
By Lynn K. Sollitto, brave mom, author and RAD advocacy hero I instantly fell in love with my biological son
Out Of Options, Parents Of Children With Mental Illness Trade Custody For Treatment
Illinois Newsroom–Jul 31, 2018 When Toni and Jim Hoy adopted their son Daniel as a toddler, they did not plan
What Social Workers Need to Know When Working with Adoptive Families
By brave adoptive parent and advocate Pernell Meier Social workers have been an ever-present part of my family. Over the course
Parenting a challenging child? Here’s how to increase your resilience
Do you ever roll out of bed already over it? At your limit before the day starts? Knowing you can’t
How kids in “typical” biological families grow up with attachment issues
Adults who grew up in so-called “typical” families—the families we pay no or little attention to because it looks “normal”,
The Boy Who Cried Abuse
Devon was a boy who cried wolf. On several occasions, he claimed workers had purposely hurt him. When he mumbled about
What it’s like being the sibling of a child with RAD
“It’s like living in a prison. We can’t go anywhere. All doors are locked. Alarms everywhere. We can’t have friends
You need a safety plan
If you’re raising a child with RAD you almost certainly need a safety plan. Our children’s dangerous behaviors can include
Father’s Day for dads of children with RAD
Guest post by Terrie, RAD mom Today I remember all the dads – adoptive, foster, step and birth – for
The Essential Guide to RAD
Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD): The Essential Guide for Parents has the resources, advice, and information I wish I’d had when my
Why Residential Treatment is good (and not good) for kids with RAD
What’s your success been with Residential Treatment Facilities (RTF)? My son, Devon, has been in 2 group homes and 5
Dear friends & family
Dear Friend, I’ve told you before how I’m struggling with my child’s behavior but I’m not sure you understand how
Movie Review: The Boarder
When Annika and Zeb adopt Carl, an 11-year-old boy from the foster care system, they’re confident he’ll heal and thrive
Opening our foster care adoption
Published by Adoptive Families May 2018 Issue Jennifer laughed a little too loudly, running her fingers through her long, fluorescent
How parents of kids with RAD get PTSD
“It’s unreasonable to force a parent to bond with a child whose behaviors have led to his or her PTSD,”
Trauma and the Incredible Hulk
Effectively parenting children with a history of trauma requires a paradigm shift. This short video by psychologist Jacob Ham is
RAD Recovery: There is hope
Here’s a story from Sandi: At age 10, my son was diagnosed with RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder). He is 17 now, and he
15 Practical Self-Care Ideas for Parents
via Blog – Institute For Attachment and Child Development A self-care list for the exhausted, frazzled, frustrated parents without a
A white mother on her black son: He’s treated differently
My Op-ed published by The Charlotte Observer My biracial son Amias and his white cousin Jacob – middle school honors
Open letter to a therapist from a mom of a child with RAD
Dear Therapist, I am desperate for your help. I apologize ahead of time if I seem angry and defensive. I’m just
When a mom struggles to love her child
Originally published by the Institute for Child Development. Carol was bitter and angry—on edge. Shortly after we met through a
Your adopted child experienced trauma, now what? | Kirsten Holmberg | TEDxTwinFalls
An adopted child’s time in an orphanage deprived him of his vital need for love, touch, and nurture, which serve
Amazing stories of violent children with RAD and the families that love them. (Video)
Here are the stories of one dozen children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and how their families found the answers