I adopted my three cousins six years ago. Mom and dad of one boy died of drug overdose, other lost custody and is in and out of jail. I knew they were “naughty” but did not realize the brain damage that trauma can cause. They were taken from my cousin their grandmother two years after their mom died due to abuse and neglect. I have worked in groups homes my whole life, was a foster parent, my parents were foster parents, my brother was adopted and my cousins were adopted. To me it was a wonderful thing and I thought I could it take them and make “it all better”. I feel I have secondary trauma at this point. We had to give up jz , bm, incontinence , sexual behaviors, home and school. He was in pull ups still at age 11.
He threatened to kill me.
We put him in residential care. Bm smearing. The other two boys are doing better oldest is pretty independent, 16 year old is addicted to porn, he cannot have drivers license , does “crazy lying” no internet access at home, phone taken away, not independent in daily living skills. I have had NO support whatsoever from Cmh, esd or the school. Cmh refused to take him in public. School told me it was my imagination and he needed to learn to be normal. He would hide from staff, Harrass kids, sexually touch kids. One year to next they would not tell next teacher or recess aides, no special ed help whatsoever!!! I could go on forever…
I live in Charlotte, NC with my family and am working on a memoir about raising my adopted son, Devon.