The feelings of guilt and shame the parents are burdened with, as the child injures other children and pets, defies authority and is destructive to things around them, are very painful and destructive to themselves. The community looks for someone to blame rather than a solution to the problem. Finding someone to blame does not help! It is vital to let go of the guilt, let go of the shame and resolve to solve the problem. Whether another parent is the one that broke your child’s heart or you made the errors yourself is of no consequence anymore. Laying blame will not help heal the child. Carrying guilt and shame wastes a tremendous amount of energy that could be put to much better use healing the child.
— Nancy L. Thomas, When Love is Not Enough
I live in Charlotte, NC with my family and am working on a memoir about raising my adopted son, Devon.